Oh, etiquette. A topic we adore. The beautiful thing about etiquette is that wedding invitation etiquette is a group of principles, not rules. They can be bent, flexed, even broken, because let’s face it, it is your event; no one else’s.
Do you find yourself drawn to wording that is fancy-free or does your heart melt when you read something elegant and formal? Are your parent’s divorced; or how about your soon-to-be spouse, are theirs? Are you getting married in a house of worship or on a NYC roof top? Are you going to have an adult only reception?
If you’ve never written a wedding invitation before this whole process can see overwhelming. Fear not! We are here to help (and are slightly obsessed with proper etiquette). Below you will find helpful hints and wording suggestions based on the most formal etiquette traditions. If you have a specific question be sure to contact us, we are delighted to work with you one on one to find the perfect wording for your perfect day!
The dos and the don’ts of wedding invitations
1. Make sure when wording your invitation the following four questions are answered: Who? What? Where? and When?
2. Wedding invitations are written in the third person. Mr. and Mrs. Smith request your presence…. instead of We’ cordially invite you.
3. On a wedding invitation there is to be no punctuation except for the abbreviations of and Jr. Mr., Mrs. Also, it is most proper to write out the word Doctor or The Doctors Robertson than use Dr. and Street or Road instead of St. or Rd.
4. Because there is no punctuation, capital letters are used to signify the beginning of a sentence. Your invitation should read as one, long, proper sentence. That means you would not capitalize the beginning of every new line but you would capitalize proper nouns. Remember at and two are not proper nouns.
An invitation in sentence form: Together with their parents Jane Manning and Matthew Reynolds request the pleasure of your company At their wedding, Saturday the fifth of July Two thousand and ten At five o’clock in the evening (Looks odd with the random capitals, doesn’t it)
5. It is most traditional to write out the time of your ceremony and reception in long form: two o’clock in the afternoon instead of 2:00 pm. For quarter, half and three-quarter hours, use half after instead of half past.
6. It is equally correct to write the year with the word and as it is without. Two thousand ten or two thousand and ten are both okay according to etiquette.
7. If the ceremony is held in a house of worship, the request line should read request the honor of your presence. If your wedding is being held in a secular location request the pleasure of your company is correct.
8. Spelling the word honor or honour is equally correct while the British honour is most traditional. The biggest thing to remember with American or British spellings is to be consistent. If you use the British honour on your invitation be sure to use the British favour on your reply card.
9. Under no circumstance is it appropriate to write either registry information on your invitation or to include registry information in your invitation suite.
10. Another big no-no, writing Adult only reception or Adults only on your invitation. The most proper way to signify who’s invited and who’s not is to use an inner envelope. The outer envelope is addressed to the household while the inner is addressed to the requested attendees. A second way to indicate adults only is to have a place on your reply card that reads ___ No. of Adults. This helps signify that only adults are to attend.